Just One More Kissy

“Just One More Kissy”

My youngest son Matt enlisted in the Army.  I haven’t seen him since mid-April.  A year before, Matt and I flew to Southern California for a family wedding -- that’s when he decided to let me know just how serious he was:  “Mom, it’s something I’ve got to do; I will regret it the rest of my life if I don’t go into the military.” 

Do you remember the flashbacks the father (Steve Martin) had in the movie “Father of the Bride” when his daughter said, “I’m going to get married”?  He looked across the table at her and saw his little girl in pigtails.  The same thing happened to me.  I looked at my 6’2” big burly son sitting next to me in this little airplane seat, and I saw a little boy.  This wasn’t my adult son talking; this was my baby. 

This was the baby I held in my arms after a c-section, the one whose big beautiful eyes looked up at me as I nursed him.  This is the one who used to follow me around the kitchen in his walker, always needing just a “little more” of me.  This is the one who struggled to speak for himself because his big brother would do it for him.  This is the one who used to hold his arms up to me and say, “just one more kissy,” whenever we parted ways for awhile.  This is the one who loved to be loved, who played the “baby” part well, who knew that he had this mom wrapped around his little finger, and he knew I was okay with that!  This is the one I prayed softly with the day he came to me to make sure Jesus truly was in his heart.  This is the one, now, telling me he’s headed into the military, in time of war.   

I sat quietly, carefully choosing my words.  Then this came out, “You do what you feel God is calling you to do then.  Don’t live a life wondering or regretting.  I will support whatever decision you make.”  With a huge lump in my throat and wanting to change the subject, he just looked at me.  He was relieved.  He knew that my support and love was something he needed.  We continued our conversation throughout the rest of the flight while he excitedly shared his dreams.  Me?  I held back tears while I smiled, listened, and nodded.

In less than 2 weeks, Art and I, along with other family members, will proudly see Matt graduate from Fort Benning, Georgia, Army Infantry School.  From there, Matt is headed to Airborne School and will be stationed in North Carolina with the 82nd Airborne Division, until he is deployed to, more than likely, Afghanistan.  

The lump that grew in my throat on the day of our plane conversation never left me.  It’s a little bigger now.  I take one day at a time because I know my thoughts only take me where I don’t want to go.  

It’s a little different now.  Matt doesn’t put his arms up in the air anymore and ask for one more “kissy.” 

But guess what I’m going to ask for the minute I see him?